TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART 1: Introduction
How I Met Cap'n Billy and Why You Should Raise
Your Children to Be Pirates 1
PART 2: Cap'n Billy - The Butcher-MacDougal 's Guide to Pirate Parenting
Baby Pirates-Mapping Out Your Child's Future 21
Belly Timber-Feeding Your Pirate 37
Sleeping Like a Seadog and Other Nocturnal Issues 49
Quelling Mutinies-Disciplining Your Pirate 59
Scurvy and Hook Injuries-Pirate Health and Safety 73
Your Pirate's First Ship-
How to Convert Your Minivan into a Pirate Schooner 87
As Your Pirate Gets Older
(The Teen Years and Beyond) 103

Would you like to raise your children as pirates?
If so, this is the guide you need.

Pirates have been making headlines in the news. These pirates are professional criminals who prey on unarmed merchant ships in distant seas. This subject is not a joking matter and most people agree that these pirates should be held accountable for their actions.

However, there is plenty of room in the pirate world for this tongue-in-cheek parenting guide. I think we are all ready for a good laugh and this book is just what the doctor ordered. "Guide to Pirate Parenting" by Tim Bete will have you rolling on the floor in laughter. Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall explains why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it.

I especially enjoyed the pirate nursery rhymes in this book. Here is one of my favorites;

Cap'n Billy (Old MacDonald)
"Cap'n Billy had a ship, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho
And on his ship he had a crew, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho
With an "Arrr, Arr" here and an "Arrr, Arrr" there,
Here an "Arrr," there an "Arrr," everywhere an "Arrr, Arr,"
Cap'n Billy had a ship, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho."

There is a very entertaining chapter about how to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner. Cap'n Billy says, "Without a ship, a pirate is just a pathetic landlubber with an eye patch". Cap'n Billy says that every pirate schooner needs an appropriate pirate bumper sticker. Here are some of my favorites;

"Caution: I brake for buried treasure"
"My other ship is an aircraft carrier"
"My pirate kidnapped your honor student"
"I killed a bottle of rum just to watch it die"

Parenting is a serious responsibility that requires much love, patience and time. "Guide to Pirate Parenting" encourages parents to lighten-up and have some fun. This book is written for adults but there are many sections that could be shared with a child. Get ready to set sail on a hilarious adventure of laughter and joy!

Never before has raising a pirate been so easy!

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